Today my blog is expelled from the uterus of the interwebs.

Sooooo, I started a blog. I don't know if I "caved" or just finally got around to making it cause I was planning it all the time..

I'll start out with what's happening now.

Current Conversation:
Ashley- My nickname is mom.. that's what my sister says when she's mad.. 'thanks mom'
Barbara- I wish my sister came to me more with stuff.. like 'make contact with me'
Barbara- .. are you updating your BLOG?!?!

Ashley- (a while later) = WAIT! Where does that Blog go??
Barbara- THE WORLD!!!
Ashley- That woman looks like Clay Aiken
Barbara- SHHH! Don't say anything orsshullsayittoTHEWORLD!! (she said that really fast)

Barbara- ... (much later) .. are you still going with this shit??

And we'll hop, skip, and jump ahead to what's happening now.

The girl outside of our apartment apparently collects elephants. Barbara has just pointed out the girl that's speaking about the elephant collection is the crack head from the other night. Ashley is pretending she's typing the blog. The crackhead just called her Grandma, perhaps her grandma collects elephants as well. I just realized I could rearrange time if I remember the pasts out of order. The crackhead got an ‘incomplete’ in photography. Barb thinks she's missing a chromosome. Ashley feels bad for her because she sounds stressed out.. "at least she's in college." Crackhead says to her mom, "YOUR** THE BEST MOM EVER!" Barb spit cookie out of her nose. Ashley thinks the crackhead is just a lost soul who needs guidance. Barb thinks she has no soul.

**yeah, she said the wrong "you're"

Barb now is doing her fantastic Kat Williams impersonation.
Train of thought: crackhead > crack > recipe for crack (KW) > recipe

AND presently, we are embarking on a conversation about food experimentations. Stand by, for idears.

Ashley wonders how we know oatmeal is oatmeal.

A Fabuliciousness Food List:
creamcheese and jelly sandwiches
chocolate chip cookies
banana fried oatmeal
apples and peanutbutter (enter Cassie)
hotsauce and eggs scrambled slowly together .. forever
cantalope with spoon

Cassie is not ready for the “blog road.” Ashley is talking about the swine flu. Barb is confused as to why Ashley brought up the swine flue. Cassie is laughing at the swine flu survivors uniting! Barb says Fergie did meth for real and now her whole face is fucked because of it. Everyone is talking about Michael Jackson’s nose surgeries. Ashley thinks that’s a good way to tell if your alive.. because your nose falls off when your dead, and if you think you’re alive you’re just a zombie. Cassie has a theory about rabies that turns you to zombie.. Cassie said, “That’s how you know you’re a zombie! If you eat brains, you’re a zombie. Zombies eat brains that’s how they live!” Ashley is mad.. “Says who?” she exclaimed. “Who even cares about what’s written? What’s real? Whatever you want a zombie to do they will do! They eat anything they fucking want.” ..
Cassie: “no, they eat brains.”

Argument continues. The intricacies of this conversation are actually unbelievable.
Barb says zombies aren’t clean. "They’re decrepit and dirty."

And now I leave you behind as I continue on pursuing the present somewhere else.
Good Morrow.